gwydion | Dec. 8th, 2023

* I need to make my position clear about something, given recent events and holiday related discourse.

Blaming people in a different country for events in Israel/Gaza/The West Bank in which they have no involvement or say in is an asshole maneuver. I was against Islamophobic hate crimes after 9/11. I am against Islamophobic and Antisemitic hate crimes now. Blaming a whole religion or ethnicity for the actions of a few is rotten no matter the reasons people are giving.

This is why I continue to cover hate crimes against both groups when I manage to get to them what with everything. This is why I said leave mosques and community centers alone after 9/11 this is why I say don't target Palestinian or Jewish Americans (or equivalent other country versions, because it's not just here) now. The local deli or halal restaurant is not the problem. Someone celebrating Hanukah is not the problem. random innocent college students taking a walk after dinner are not the problem. The people attacking them are.

Lets keep blame focused on Netanyahu's government, Hamas, IDF and not innocent civilians there and here, okay? Because dehumanization of a whole population is a bad, bad road. You can see where that road leads by looking at the IDF war crimes in Gaza right now.

Do keep protesting. Do keep making your voices heard. I just ask that people remember that everyone of a particular religion and ethnicity isn't a monolith and that we try to be decent to each other when we do it.

* Speaking of which, this is one of the innocent, unarmed young men shot for taking a walk after dinner by an islamaphobe. "Support For Hisham's Recovery:" https://www.gofundme.com/f/support-for-hishams-recovery

* "Israel strikes in and around Gaza's second largest city in an already bloody new phase of the war:" https://abcnews.go.com/International/wireStory/israel-strikes-gazas-largest-city-bloody-new-phase-105379787

* "Doctors Without Borders: Attack on organization’s convoy ‘deliberate,’ calling for investigation:" https://thehill.com/policy/international/4338868-msf-attack-convoy-deliberate-demanding-investigation/

* "Israel widens evacuation orders as it shifts offensive to southern Gaza:" https://www.politico.com/news/2023/12/03/israel-widens-evacuation-orders-as-it-shifts-offensive-to-southern-gaza-00129767

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* "Let's talk about intelligence failures in other countries....:"

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* "Let's talk about the evolving US position and changing relationships....:"

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* "The Harvard Law Review Refused to Run This Piece About Genocide in Gaza:" https://www.thenation.com/article/archive/harvard-law-review-gaza-israel-genocide/

* "Tale of two questionnaires: Trump looks for sycophantic staff as prosecutors look for jurors:" https://www.msnbc.com/alex-wagner-tonight/watch/tale-of-two-questionnaires-trump-looks-for-sycophantic-staff-as-prosecutors-look-for-jurors-199482437673

* "‘Withering rejection’: Trump loses presidential immunity fight—twice in one day:" https://www.msnbc.com/all-in/watch/-withering-rejection-trump-loses-presidential-immunity-fight-twice-in-one-day-199205445734

* "Trump suffers two major legal losses in one day as paths of escape narrow:" https://www.msnbc.com/alex-wagner-tonight/watch/trump-suffers-two-major-legal-losses-in-one-day-as-paths-of-escape-narrow-199218245843

* "Trump prosecution becomes race against 2024 election schedule; Courthouse becomes political prop:" https://www.msnbc.com/alex-wagner-tonight/watch/trump-prosecution-becomes-race-against-2024-election-schedule-courthouse-becomes-political-prop-199736389571

* "Let's talk about Trump, SCOTUS, and Biden staying in office....:"

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* "Catastrophic climate ‘tipping points’ may be imminent :" https://www.politico.com/news/2023/12/06/climate-tipping-point-emissions-ice-00130349

* "Study: 58% of world's richest companies quietly lobby against climate policies:" https://www.upi.com/Top_News/World-News/2023/11/17/net-zero-greenwashing-58-large-corporations-lobby-against-climate-efforts/7141700219198/

* "I’m a Climate Scientist. I’m Not Screaming Into the Void Anymore.:" https://web.archive.org/web/20231125125622/https://www.nytimes.com/2023/11/18/opinion/climate-change-report-us.html

* "Let's talk about Michigan and cleanish energy....:"

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* "Even Paris Hilton has pulled adverts from X – and Elon Musk isn’t happy about it:" https://www.thepinknews.com/2023/12/05/paris-hilton-kitchenware-advs-pulled-x-elon-musk-response/

* "On Mental Health and Acknowledging Us, Rosalynn Carter Was Ahead of Her Time:" https://www.advocate.com/voices/rosalynn-carter-mental-health

* "Sandra Day O’Connor, first woman Supreme Court justice, dies at 93:" https://www.politico.com/news/2023/12/01/sandra-day-oconnor-female-supreme-court-justice-034753

Too bad she didn't get a conscience about overthrowing the results of the 2000 Election in Florida for partizan hack reasons until it was far, far to late and we were set on the Bad Timeline.

* "Norman Lear, who made funny sitcoms about serious topics, dies at 101:" https://www.npr.org/2023/12/06/334890639/norman-lear-who-made-funny-sitcoms-about-serious-topics-dies-at-101

* "Death by Lemonade? (ft. Doctor Mike):"

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* Went to collect Goth Millennial Saturday and the engine light was back on. *headdesk* Which means I'm low key fucked for the trip to get tortured Monday morning at physio since the bus pass social services gave me for exactly this emergency and it's Squirrel's first day at work. (He has to work days at this job). This is the fifth car repair this year. There is no means to replace the car. I have neither money nor credit beyond what I need in a given month.

Plus I'm still $200 down (out of $280) from last month's repairs.

I'm exhausted with this. Poverty is so much more expensive than having money to buy a newer used car.

* So my broken toe isn't really healing because I keep re-injuring it. I broke it outright again getting ready for physio.

Bonus: So we started "Pre-rehab" Monday. apparently, whatever use I get out of my arm before surgery is the maximum function I get to keep, which is a p[problem because of how damaged four years of incorrect treatment's going to leave it. Physio was horrified I'd been doing dangerous exercises for literally years because of the original ostio blowing me off with a misdiagnosis instead of properly investigating. Him: But you shouldn't be doing that with an obviously torn rotator cuff! I can actually see your shoulder sagging. Me: Yes. that's what I said, but I had to follow directions if I wanted to prove physio wouldn't fix the joint if I wanted anyone to take me seriously and actually do tests.

So I'm forbidden literally everything I've been doing, and been given a brand new set of torture exercises. I may be really thrashed for a while.

MRI is scheduled. Odds are now in favor of February surgery.

* Everything is so hard right now.

Amoung the other things that broke last week was my bedroom phone which I need to work so I don't have to lever myself out of bed half asleep and wobble into my office area to answer the endless stream of medical and bureaucratic call people insist on constantly making while I'm asleep. I can afford a new one. The emergency back up is the phone that made it a tough twenty years, but now doesn't send the medical autodialers the digit 1 so they will stop calling me over and over. I swapped it in anyway as the crappy office handset I got used a few years back doesn't ring loud enough to be head over my bed room air filter.

This means I need to remember to carry the office phone in so I can answer that one when the first one rings. except that one has to be connected to the call the EMTs device on my desk. And all the handling has broken the plastic piece on the end of the cord so it randomly falls out. Also if i don't remember to move the panic box onto my office chair the phone won't reach and the box will fall panic box side down calling the paramedics. Sigh.

I forgot to carry the phone in twice which is how I discovered the intermittent fault on the old phone that cuts my voice out to the person I was talking to. If my car hadn't been broken I could have gotten a cheap used one at a second hand store, but that' out too.

I absolutely hate the new arm exercises. I am doing them anyway because I need an arm that will work post surgery. It's twice a day and I am being a grown up about it. i can absolutely see why these exercises. They are even noticeably working a little already. They still wear me the fuck out and I hurt and hurt and hurt. (It's not bad pain wise doing them, no worse than anything I have to do, but I stiffen up later and my general pain level will rise). I have to stay up for Thursday morning torture appointment regardless of how wiped I am because I'm getting bad shakes every time I'm not allowed enough sleep and then startled awake and I need to not have my entire neurological/muscular system freaking the fuck out and not obeying orders if I am going to my torture appointment.

There was no cleaner Tuesday, but at least the asshole agency called in advance so I could reschedule. I theoretically have four more covered visits between now and the 31st. They have skipped the last six, which is now over a month with no help. I am scheduling twice a week at the expense of sleep on both days in the hopes they will come once. Sigh.

I did successfully complete some Tuesday phone bureaucracy. Unfortunately, a place I discovered I needed to call after a call that ended at 4:37 actually closed at 4:30 despite the website saying 5PM, because of course. This meant I needed to stay up until they opened next morning, despite being exhausted from getting constantly awakened by phone calls. No, I can't unplug while I'm asleep because most of these are medical and include things like we need to reschedule your appointment til next month and they now take a day or two to reply if you call them back which means they are even more overbooked and they will return the call when I'm asleep, starting the cycle over again. It is faster to let them wake me up and get it over with.

I was exhausted and I really struggled to stay up an extra two hours past when I wanted to sleep. The call was frustrating and only one degree away from pointless. Sigh.

Six phone calls in the six hours maximum I had to sleep in, carefully placed to prevent relaxation or REM sleep. One was a long boring "assessment." Every single agency I have to deal with as a disabled person insists on waking me up to answer long, boring, intrusive surveys/assessments at least once a year, sometimes twice. Asshole Agency insists on four for some reason. I had just started drifting off from that when the asshole agency robot called me. So that's three Asshole agency calls in less than 24 hours, but no cleaners in a month. Just saying.

I was getting ready to go pick up Goth Millennial for errands and Squirrel told me there was no gas. Me: ?!? I put half a tank in Saturday night! It's my fault really. This was about two and a half weeks of gas for me because I don't drive much. His car is more fuel efficient, so I was thinking surely this would be enough for Sunday night to Wednesday night.

Bwahahahaha! No. Not even close. I should have been only putting in a gallon at a time, which meant trying to scrape together enough to buy a gallon with what I had on me as it was on empty and I had to go straight to the closest gas station. At least it didn't cut into the car repair money. I guess.

He is doing a favor lending my his car. It is his car and he needs it. I know what his executive function is like and he forgot I had Wednesday errands, so had planned to put more in on his way to work. It is 100 percent not any sort of rudeness on his part. There is a reason I'm mostly responsible for things that require executive function in the apartment.

Next time I'll remember. A gallon at a time covers everything I'm apt to do and leaves him plenty.

Errands were like this to. Lots of effort and frustrating results.

I would like to thank everyone trying to help with the car fix fund. I will find out likely late afternoon Friday if I will be able to pay any of my bills this month.

* I don't want to get into the shitshow transportation was Thursday morning. Arm torture is working. It's just exhausting me and leaving me thrashed. no one is letting me sleep. I am so tired of tired and hungry and hurt. I'm tired of my broken toe. Bonus points for my hip joints and the bad patch on my spine being terrible all Thursday making everything so much harder.

I had a nose bleed in my sleep... I think it was Wednesday. It had likely been bleeding sometime before I woke and it was gushing for some time after. I keep finding more blood around the bedroom. In my defense, I haven't had a nose bleed in literally years (maybe a decade?) and was never much prone to them absent a punch to my schnoze or the like, so half asleep in the dark I just thought it was running.

The cleaner is past due for Friday, so I'm assuming no cleaner. This is the seventh skipped appointment. no one's come in over a month.

If they fix the car today, i won't be able to collect it until Monday as there is no transport.

* My car broke yet again in late October. As I feared it was the hose that keeps the engine cool. Why feared? It's in the middle of all the gear under the hood. Hose and fluid replacements are cheap. an hour and a half of labor to take it all apart then put it back in is incredibly expensive. $200out of 280 is still needed. (Thank you donors!) I have paid Squirrel back for the gas for the week and a halfish, I was borrowing his car, thanks to a donor. The repairs ate most of my bill money for the month. Yes, this is the forth repair this year. My car is about 25ish years old. I can't afford to replace it, nor can I do without it, being disabled: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/Gwydion

* Squirrel has started their new job. Today is their first full shift as opposed to training. Squirrel really needs gas money to keep going to work until he gets paid mid-month: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/Squirrelmh

* An old friend of mine's beloved dog needs money for vet bills and special food. They are $75.00 short of goal: https://www.gofundme.com/f/pay-rosies-dental-bills

* "Organ & Body Donations: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver:"

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* "Casino Royale ~ Lost in Adaptation:"

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I remember as a kid, during the big Bond craze of the '70's, my mother attempting to read this for the first time and her horror and disgust at the misogyny. She finished it, but never read another Flemming.

* OFMD: Ed's Depression: https://www.tumblr.com/brigdh/735881900182388736/hi-there-i-just-read-your-meta-about-how-izzy?source=share

* "Farewell, Sarah Jane | Doctor Who:"

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* "True Facts: The Science of Real-Life SuperPowers:"

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* "George Santos Expelled Cold Open - SNL:"

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* "Fully Naked in New York - SNL:"

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* Laugh rule. "Did I ever tell you guys about the time I got stuck in a room with the kpop band BTS in the Santiago airport in 2017:" https://www.tumblr.com/fiftysevenacademics/736020087481499648?source=share

* It is so sexy of 30 Coins Season 2 to decide that a billionaire is worse than literal Satan manifest.

* I don't read much fanfic. I'm all for people writing it. Yes, including things I don't enjoy. Yes including problematic things. I hate neo-puritanism. I love that people express themselves in such a variety of ways. It is a grand and beautiful thing that so many people out there are making art for their own pleasure and that so many people can now read and look at it. It is hugely comforting to me that AO3 exists even if months and occasionally years go by without me looking.

I just don't have a lot of time and I'm super picky about what I read for fun because so much of what I read in a day isn't, if you follow. If I'm going to invest a lot of time I could be spending doing everything else, it needs a high probability if being my sort of thing.

So mostly I read weird interesting short things from my tumblr dash, or things people I know wrote, or things people I know recommended that also look like they might be to my taste.

Our Flag season two had so many gaps in it, that even I was like: I need something to fill the holes. Except I only have a vague idea of how to find things on AO3 because until this week, I don't think I ever needed to look for anything on AO3 except to see if someone who's stuff I just read has more stuff I might want to take a squint at.

This perfect thing fell into my lap A++ exactly what I wanted and needed, and yes, I plan to look at the other stuff by the same person in hopes.

(General Audience. Exactly what it says on the tin, well written.) "Five Times Izzy Hands Was Held By Fang:" https://archiveofourown.org/works/50617144

I am also going to do something unprecedented and ask for suggestions. Do not take me stating what sort of things I am in the mood for as some sort of attack on what other people enjoy. Do not feel obligated to suggest anything.

I am wanting OFMD stories that either fill in conversational or emotional gaps for Jim/Olewande/Archie, together or one on one, or for Izzy with Fang and/or Frenchie. I don't care if there is porn or not in there one way or the other because what I'm wanting are the missed character beats. I'm not interested in AU or other scenarios, because really, it's the truncated season that has left me with dangling thread. I feel like too much got left out for these characters.

So if you have something you love along these lines, please do pipe up.

* "Midnight Pals: The Mysteries:" https://www.tumblr.com/bitterkarella/735530509125468160/midnight-pals-the-mysteries?source=share

* "Midnight Pals: Cars:" https://www.tumblr.com/bitterkarella/735893731996270592/midnight-pals-cars?source=share

* "Sunday Sweets: 10 Cakes With Curtain Calls:" https://www.cakewrecks.com/home/sunday-sweets-10-cakes-with-curtain-calls-2023

*****
* Full list of Resistance and charity links has been migrated to my profile as it was getting out of hand.

The help links are at the bottom under the cut.

* "World Central Kitchen:" https://wck.org/

* This is one of the innocent, unarmed young men shot for taking a walk after dinner by an islamaphobe. "Support For Hisham's Recovery:" https://www.gofundme.com/f/support-for-hishams-recovery

* "Now feels like a good time to plug the organizations that the Kissinger Death Tontine accepted donations-as-submissions from!:" https://www.tumblr.com/gwydionmisha/735458103739465728?source=share

* Where to donate for non-violent causes in Gaza and Israel: https://soc-puppet.dreamwidth.org/867894.html

* "Games for Gaza:" https://soc-puppet.dreamwidth.org/868099.html

* My car broke yet again in late October. As I feared it was the hose that keeps the engine cool. Why feared? It's in the middle of all the gear under the hood. Hose and fluid replacements are cheap. an hour and a half of labor to take it all apart then put it back in is incredibly expensive. $230 worth in total. I have paid Squirrel back for the gas for the week and a halfish, I was borrowing his car, thanks to a donor. The repairs ate most of my bill money for the month. Yes, this is the forth repair this year. My car is about 25ish years old. I can't afford to replace it, nor can I do without it, being disabled: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/Gwydion

* Squirrel has lost their job and needs about $800.00 for bills, meds and food for a month. They have lost their health insurance which provides essential medication. We can float bills a bit if we must, but it's extremely dangerous if they skip any of their meds. They have already had a ton of interviews, and it is likely they will be offered a very good job if they can hold out until December when it starts. They are an old RL friend and my roommate: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/Squirrelmh

* An old friend of mine's beloved dog needs money for vet bills and special food. They just need $75 more.: https://www.gofundme.com/f/pay-rosies-dental-bills

* Cool Blackwork Embroidery Patterns for Beginners: https://www.etsy.com/shop/thehaberdasheress/?etsrc=sdt

* If you would like to help support me and the Cats: paypal.me/Gwydion

* I admit to having a wicked good time tormenting myself and other history geeks with my polls: https://www.tumblr.com/gwydpolls

( Links Underneath: )

Nec Hoc Nec Ilud

Touched By a Zombie

Dec. 8th, 2023

12/1/23 - 12/8/23 So Much is not in here. Sorry.

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